I'm going on my 9th month of unemployment. And yes, it's as depressing as it sounds. I haven't hit rock bottom yet where I have to take ANY job I can get, but I know that moment is lurking off in the distance. I'm trying not to take it all so personally, I mean, it's not like I'm NOT getting calls because of who I am. It's because it's a shitty market right now with a lot of people, just like me, looking for work. Employers can afford to be as picky as they want because they know their perfect candidate is out there. So I continue to go thru the motions of looking for work every day, checking out the job boards: CareerBuilder, Monster, Craigslist, Indeed, Worksource, etc. And every day I send another resume with a letter explaining why I'm the right person for the job. It's exhausting, mentally & emotionally. There are days when I cry because it shouldn't be this hard to find a job. I'm talented. I'm smart. I'm a hard-worker. I'm good at what I do. Why can't anyone else see that?! Then Christian takes my hand & reminds me not to take it personally.
It's hard to get motivated when you have nothing to do. My day starts between 10a-Noon (depending on what time I went to bed.) The dogs don't seem to mind sleeping in with me & the cats are always napping... they get me. Chances are very good that I'll stay in my PJs for the entire day because, why not?! Maybe I'll tidy the kitchen. Or I'll vacuum up a week's worth of pet hair (it's very fulfilling for me to see the "before & after" on the carpet!) I might sit outside & sun my legs while the dogs sun themselves on the deck. I'll stare at the trees, watching for hummingbirds, crows or squirrels. I might doze off. Maybe I'll sweep the deck now that leaves are starting to fall. I might bring the laptop outside & spend HOURS on Facebook, reading the various articles that my network posts. Maybe I'll work on my website & get lost in the mountain of pictures I have posted. Christian will be home soon, so I might make something for dinner... or not. Surprisingly I don't watch TV during the day. It's boring with soaps, talk shows & court shows & I'd really rather not get sucked into that. I'm happy when Christian gets home & hearing about his new job & being so thankful he found work. He winds down his day playing some Xbox & I get back on the laptop & get sucked into the interweb. He goes to bed & I stay up til whenever I doze off. This is my day... every day.
It's not so bad sometimes. I'm lucky that I get to spend time w/my critters & enjoy their company. And this weather!! Wow, we've had an absolutely BEAUTIFUL summer with lots of sunshine & warm temps. If I were working, I'd be missing out & wishing I were outside. Sometimes I have errands to run or get to meet a friend for lunch. Or I take the dogs for a playdate. People always tell me to walk the dogs. I do walk them, but it's usually in the evenings once it cools off. But I never get out of the house just to get out of the house. I need to have purpose for leaving my abode.
I love not wearing makeup or having to wear a bra. It's very liberating. I don't snack/eat during the day, so I'm not worried about gaining weight. I have time to give myself a mani/pedi or pluck my eyebrows. There, that just saved me $50! My laundry consists of PJs, tank tops, shorts & underwear. I can dance to "Blurred Lines" over & over & over if I want.
The truth is I really want to get back to work. Surprisingly, I miss people. I miss the interactions. I miss using my brain to solve a problem. I miss feeling like a part of something. But for whatever reason, the universe doesn't think that's where I need to be. In the meantime, I'll keep sending out resumes while wearing my PJs.
